Scott Pilgrim Vs Fallout 3
by Key and Lock
Summary: Scott and his friends get sent into the future. Now that they are reunited they must search for a way back. Or at least someplace that will play their music.
1. Chapter 1

Scott Pilgrim Vs. Fallout 3

Disclaimer: Scott Pilgrim is owned by Bryan Lee O'Malley and Oni Press. Fallout 3 is owned by Bethesda Softworks. All other works mentioned belong to various companies and entities

"Hellooo Capital Wasteland! It is I the all powerful 3-Dog," the radio crackled to life. Three young men sat around a small fire.

Scott Pilgrim

Age: 23

Status: Where the hell AM I?

Stephen Stills

Age: 23

Status: Why are we in America?

Neil Nordegraf

Age: 20

Status: I'm' starving.

As the old song "I don't want to set the World on Fire" played Scott looked around at his surroundings.

"Do we have any food?" Young Neil whined.

"Let me check," Stephen Stills said, "Let's see stimpacks, .44 magnum with rounds, shotgun, with rounds, brass knuckles,"

` "Dibs," Scott said interrupting Stephen.

"Dirty water, and… Ah ha! Six Salisbury steaks," Stephen Stills said, ignoring Scott.

"Yay!" Neil said "Aww come on. This is way past the expiration date," Neil complained as he looked at the packages.

"By how long?" Scott asked who was just as hungry as the others.

"200 years," Neil answered.

"Eat it or I will," Scott threatened.

"So how did we get in America and 200 years into the future?" Stephen Stills asked trying to prevent a fight.

"Or better yet," Scott added, "why after a nuclear disaster?'

Let me digress for a second. I, the narrator, chose this locale because…

"Wait a second," Scott yelled, "You did this!"

"The narra… never mind," Scott said.

So they packed up ther supplies and readied their weapons and their guitars.

"I wonder where Kim, Ramona, and Wallace are?" Scott asked as he fiddled with his shiny new brass knuckles.

"Yeah, I hope they're okay," Neil said, his mind wondering to Kim.

Now we will check on the girls…and Wallace.

Ramona Flowers

Age: 24

Status: Where's Scott?

Kim Pine

Age: 23

Status: Why did I get the Brahmin? Oh wait my drums!"

Wallace Wells

Age: 25

Status: Waffle

Care to guess which ones drunk?

"We've been wondering for hours," Wallace said, "But…wait what was I talking about?"

"He's totally trashed," Ramona said to Kim.

"I don't care. I trying to keep my drums on this stupid thing," Kim said hitting the Brahmin. This caused the Brahmin to jump out of fear almost losing the drum kit.

"Look,*hic*, there," a quite drunk Wallace said. there in the distance was a radio tower and that's where they decided to go.

Scott was messing with the group's radio flipping through the static. Then all of the sudden…

"Wait go back," Stephen Stills yelled.

"I…but…it's…it's totally…it's…you…you're not the boss of…me?" Scott said.

Do it Pilgrim," Neil said pointing his shotgun in Scott's face.

"Dang Young Neil what's with all the violence? I blame the narrator," Scott said turning it back slowly. As he turned it back to the correct station, they heard the unmistakable sound of drums…

To be continued.

AN: Alright first of all to anyone who has read my other fanfic I am not quitting. My cousin decided to do a Scott Pilgrim Fallout 3 crossover and I am helping him. Secondly I know this is a short chapter but it's just a prologue so later chapters will be longer. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this and please review.


	2. Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Waste

Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Waste Part 2

Disclaimer: Neither me nor my cousin own Scott Pilgrim or Fallout 3. I also do not own this story it was crated by my cousin, I just edit it and post it.

"That's got to be Kim!" Neil said he couldn't contain his excitement.

"Yeah, it sounds a lot newer, and therefore better, than all that old crap that's been playing," Scott said as he listened to the faint broadcast.

Stephen Stills nodded gathering his belongings and putting the derelict radio on his back "What are we waiting for? Let's go find 'em!"

And our brave heroes and Scott.

"Hey!"

Left their small sanctuary and began to walk through the wasteland. They had been walking for a few hours before they spotted someone in the distance.

"Look!" Scott yelled, "A person," Scott took off to go see who it was with Stephen Stills and Neil not far behind. However none of them realized that they had ran right into a trap.

"Now you tell us?" Scott yelled as they were surrounded by raiders.

"Seriously Scott. Who are you talking to?" Stephen Stills asked.

"If you're talking to yer maker tell him you'll be seeing him shortly. Unless of course you drop your weapons and hand over all of your supplies," one of the raiders said.

Neil answered him by shooting him in the face with his shotgun, and let me be the first to say that a shotgun to a raider's head is a hell of a mess. Scott jumped at two of the others. One of them tried to shot him, but Scoot was too quick and he knocked the gun out of the raider's hand. Then he punched him in the throat and he collapsed.

The other one tried to shoot him from behind but Scott flipped over him. when the raider spun around Scott sent him flying with a kick. Then he jumped up and proceeded to continue his assault.

The last raider watched Scott's air juggle. "Whoa. 70 hits in mid-air. That's got to be…" He was cut off by a shot from Stephen Stills' .44 magnum.

"Nice job Scott, that's a new record," Stephen said as he stood over the lifeless body and blew the smoke from his gun.

"Wait a minuet," Scott said looking around, "aren't they supposed to disappear and leave some money or an extra life or something? I mean where's all of our spoils of our labor,"

"Maybe you need to search the bodies" Neil suggested.

Scott was on them in a flash. "Sucky pistol, sucky armor, caps, sucky stimpacks…"

Stephen stopped him. "Just take everything we can carry, we might need it later,"

Little did Stephen know that he was correct and that they would need them sooner then he thought.

"What wait who said that? Am I going crazy like Scott?" Stephen Stills said.

"Hey! I heard that Stephen Stills!" Scott yelled angrily.

Will Scott find Ramona? Will he ever call Stephen Stills just by his first name? Will he ever stop being so stupid? I highly doubt it…

"You shut up!" Scott yelled.

To be continued.

AN: I know that this one was short again, but this should be the last short chapter. If it is not then I apologize in advance. Anyway please review.


	3. Scott Pilgrim Vs the Radscorpion

Scott Pilgrim Vs. the Radscorpion

Disclaimer: We do not own Scott Pilgrim or Fallout.

"Let's gooo," Scott whined

"We need to wait while I get this thing fixed," Stephen Stills growled.

The "thing" he's referring to is the radio. Scott, being the idiot that he is, broke it after celebrating their victory over the raiders.

"It's not my fault that the stupid thing broke," Scott argued.

How is it not? You punched the thing, hard. Idiot.

"Okay, okay I'm sorry. There happy? But we can't just sit here doing nothing. It's so boring," Scott complained.

"I'm sitting here just fine and you don't see me whining. Or talking to myself," Young Neil was sitting on a nearby rock, polishing his favorite weapon. (One guess on what it is.)

"No all you do is talk to your gun," Scott said.

"You leave Kim out of this!" Neil shouted referring to his gun.

"Not that this conversation isn't fascinating but could you two stop arguing and let me work?" Stephen Stills said.

Meanwhile…

"I'm glad that we recorded that," Kim said massaging her sore hands.

"Yeah at least Wallace was able to do something useful before he passed out," Ramona said pointing over to a hung-over Wallace.

They had set up a small blockade around the radio tower. Anything they could move was used to enclose the small area. In fact the only way to get to the tower was through a car that was, conveniently sitting nearby. They were pretty luck so far.

Scott's group, not so much.

"Did you guys hear something?" Scott asked.

"You're just hearing things again," Neil and Stephen Stills said in unison.

"No this time I'm not talking about the na," Scott stopped and looked around. He saw nothing so he decided to sit back down. "Never mind,"

"Scott! Behind you!" Neil yelled.

Scott jumped away just in time to avoid the stinger of a large radscorpion. He then launched himself towards it to kick it. The scorpion clamped down on his legs and tossed him back.

Scott got back on his feet and punched at the large scorpion. Then the inevitable happened. The scorpion's tail lunged forward and stung Scott's arm. The venom coursed through his veins and he collapsed.

Fortunately now that Scott was out of the way Stephen Stills and Neil were able to shoot the radscorpion. It soon fell dead from the hail of bullets. Unfortunately it fell down on top of Scott.

"My legs!" Scott yelled in agony. "They burn!"

"Oh stop whining, you wuss," Neil said as he injected two stimpacks into Scott's legs.

"Ah," Scott said in relief. "that's better,"

Then all of the sudden the radio began to emit static.

"Let's get the hell out of here!" Stephen Stills said.

Okay before you leave. Why on earth would you take on a giant scorpion with your bare hands?

"I had Ramona with me," Scott said holding up his brass knuckles to apparently no one.

Weren't you just making fun of Neil for naming his gun after Kim?

"Yeah but this is completely different," Scott said

How so?

"…..Shut up,"

"Scott! If you're done talking to yourself we're going," Stephen Stills called back as he and Neil were already way ahead of him.

"Hey! Wait up!" Scott yelled as he ran after them.

So they walked for days trying to find the radio tower where they hoped to find their friends. They went on many adventures, they saved people, fought bandits and creatures of the waste, and were considered heroes by many. However we don't have time to explain all of that so we'll just skip ahead.

Scott and the others looked down from the hill they were on. In front on them was a lone building with one wall completely missing. All around the building were countless corpses of raiders and radscorpions.

"Well it looks safe enough," Scott said as he took a step closer.

BANG!

"What the hell!" Scott yelled as the bullet went passed his head and hit the ground behind him.

Knives Chau

Age: 17

Status: Sniping bad guys and taking names.

"Wait. Knives is here!" Scott asked.

Of course you idiot. I mean just think about it if everybody else is here, why can't Knives be here? Oh and be glad that she noticed it was you, or else you would be missing your head.

"You're a real jerk you know that?" Scott said.

The trio walked to the derelict building. Knives was on the upper floor. She had enough rounds to stay there for awhile. She also had a good position where she could see all the angles.

"Hey Scott!" Knives said excitedly. "Sorry about the whole shooting at you thing,"

"It's okay," Neil said. "Living now is all about reaction time,"

"Yeah well she shot at me, not you," Scott grumbled.

"Hey have you guys found Ramona and the others yet?" Knives asked Scott.

"No," he replied disappointedly.

"I was with them not to long ago, I'll lead you to them," Knives said.

They left as soon as they could. They traveled for days, fighting many creatures, and seeing wondrous places, they even found a lost treasure, however once again we don't have time for that so we'll just skip to the radio tower.

"Ramona!" Scott yelled. He was off like a rocket. He rushed through the car and… BAM!

"Oh my God, Scott!" Kim yelled. The baseball bat that she had beat him with still in her hand.

Three hours later.

"Ohhh…where am I," Scott asked as he came to.

"I'm sorry Scott, but we're at the radio tower," Ramona explained.

"Yeah, Kim knocked you a good one," Wallace said. (Guess who's drunk…again.)

"Wait, Neil's shotgun knocked me out?" Scott asked confused,

Everyone looked over at Neil decided to change the topic.

"So what now?" he asked.

"We wait here and broad cast our music," Stephen Stills said excitedly.

"Yeah!" everyone yelled.

And so ended everyone's search and a new adventure began.


	4. Scott Pilgrim on the RoadAgain

Scott Pilgrim on the Road…Again

Disclaimer: Still do not own Scott Pilgrim or Fallout 3

It's been two long, rock and roll filled weeks since we last left Scott. Fortunately since Scott is already such an idiot, that head injury did not do too much damage.

"I swear I'm going to ignore you! Stupid narrator," Scott yelled.

"Scott, shut up!" Neil snapped.

Two weeks under a dimly lit radio tower, constantly under attack wears on everyone's nerves. Especially when those people have to put up with Scott's constant whining.

"You're not gonna to get to me… not gonna get to me. Wait did you say I was whining!" Scott yelled. "Ramona, the narrator said I was whining,"

I rest my case.

"Just shut up Scott," Kim said.

Scott sighed and went over to box where they kept their food. The small coffer was slowly, but surely emptying.

"Hey guys!" Scott called out. "We have a problem. We need to leave...Soon. Like now soon,"

The group decided to head back to Knives' old hideout and see if there was anything left.

"Alright before we leave, check to make sure you have your weapons," Stephen Stills said.

What do you guys have anyway?

"Well I've got my brass knuckles, and a plasma rifle. Stephen Sills has his magnum and a Chinese assault rifle. Neil has his combat shotgun… nuff said there. Knives has her sniper rifle and a silenced 10mm pistol. Wallace has a power fist and enough chems to kill a Yao Guai. Ramona has a plasma pistol, plasma grenades, and a combat rifle. And Kim has a super sledge and the power of drum solos," Scott said.

"Wait a second, drum solos? That's a lame weapon," Kim said.

Okay before you guys go two questions. One where did you and Stephen Stills get your new weapons?

"We got them in the part you skipped last time. I got mine from one of those Enclave guys, and Stephen Stills got his from a raider camp we cleared out," Scott said.

Okay, next question. Ramona, where did you get your weapons?

"Umm I've always had them Scott," Ramona said confused.

"What? No, that wasn't me. That was the narrator," Scott said.

"Ummm…okay then?" Ramona said.

Hey you two should probably go. The others are way ahead of you.

"Aww, come on. Not again," Scott said as he and Ramona chased after their friends.

Unfortunately when they got there, the base was empty. All of the supplies were gone.

"My keen survival instincts tell me that this was the work of raiders," Scott said.

Really? What gave it away? Was it the raider armor laying everywhere, or the bodies chained to the walls and ceiling, or maybe it was the graffiti that says 'Raiders were here?' Or maybe you're just a psychic!

"…words hurt you know," Scott said.

"Okay let's go Scott starts crying about his imaginary friend," Wallace said.

"I am not crying. And he is not my friend… and he is not imaginary!" Scott yelled.

And so are brave, or in Scott's case annoying, adventurers set off to find more supplies, angry at fate for being stranded in the Wastes with no food or water, only Wallace's vast stores of alcohol.

"Hey narrator guy!" Scott called out.

What do you want Scott? I thought you said you weren't going to talk to me again?

"Well I'm not going to after this. But, I have a question. How did we get here in the first place?"

Oh that. Well to make a long story short and because I know you don't have the patience or mental capacity for the whole story I'll just say that subspace got crossed in the space time continuum and you lucky seven got dragged into this world.

"Wow, that sucks," Scott said.

"Scott, I'm trying to work here. Do mind not talking to yourself?" Stephen Stills asked as he worked on the groups weapons.

The next day.

"So where are we going?' Scott asked for the 30th time in the last five minuets.

"I already told," Stephen Stills said.

"Okay so remind me," Scott persisted.

"No. you should remember. It's not my fault that you're an idiot," Stephen Stills said.

Finally, someone I agree with.

"Okay so where," Scott started.

"We're going to Galaxy News Radio. If you listened every once in a while, you'd know that," Kim said trying to prevent a fight.

And so they walked. After about three hours.

"Three hours? It's been at least three days!" Scott said.

So I'm skipping again. Sue me. Anyway they came across a settlement.

"This is a settlement?" Scott asked the others.

"I guess," they all replied.

"Hey, if you don't like it you don't have to stay," a man sitting on the other side of the bridge that lead to the town said.

"Who are you?" Neil asked.

"Yeah and where are we. And why does this town suck?" Scott asked.

"My name is Dusty. And this Bigtown and it does not suck. We were attacked by Super Mutants a lot, until a few weeks ago when some lone wanderer came through and saved us. Now we're recovering from the attacks," Dusty explained.

Hey Scott, look at you're wrist.

"Which one?" Scott asked.

Gee I don't know, how about the one with a mini computer on it! Idiot.

"Hey what is this thing?" Scott asked as he began to mess with it.

That, my dear Scott, is a Pip-Boy 3000. It can show you a map of where you've been, check your vitals, and keep lit of all of the things you are carrying. How did you not notice it?

"Hmm. Well according to this my perception is low," Scott said looking at a status screen

Yeah almost as low as your intelligence.

Yeah… wait a second you just insulted me!" Scott yelled.

"So this place is called Bigtown," Stephen Stills said talking to Dusty.

"Yep, it isn't much, but if you need a place to rest, then this is as good a place as any," Dusty said. "Hey, whats with your friend over there?"

"Who Scott? Don't worry about him, he's just crazy," Stephen Stills said.

"I am not crazy! I'm just talking to an invisible narrator who only I can here most of the time," Scott yelled.

"…Alright then, just put your stuff in the common house over there," Dusty said pointing to one of the buildings.

"Do you think we should spend the night here?" Knives asked.

"Well it is getting late," Scott said looking at the declining sun.

"Yeah and Wallace is past out," Ramona said.

"Okay then let's go get some sleep," Neil said walking towards the common house.

The next day.

Scott woke up and yawned. "Good morning everyone. Wait a second. I'm awake, and it's not even noon. That can't be good," Scott did a quick head count. "Oh no where's Kim?"

"She's right here," Neil said holding up his shotgun.

"No the real Kim! She's been kidnapped!" Scott yelled.

To Be Continued

Character Interview #1

Okay, I'm here today with Mr. Scott Pilgrim.

"Don't call me mister, mister," Scott said.

Fine, okay. So how has your stay in the Wastes been?

"Fine. I have to put up with an annoying narrator, and one of my friends just got kidnapped but other then that I'm fine," Scott said.

How would you describe it?

"Kinda of like videogame," Scott said.

Well we're out of time. Do you have anything else to say before we go?

"Yes. I curse the narrator to listen to jazz for the rest of his life!" Scott said. "Muhahahah,"

…I like jazz music.

"Son of a," Scott began to say.

Well see you next time.


	5. The Liberation of Kim Pine

The Liberation of Kim Pine or Young Neil's Finest Hour

Disclaimer: We do not own anything!

"Oh my God!" Ramona yelled staring at Kim's empty bed (if you could call it that."

"Don't worry, * hic* I know what to *hic* do," Wallace said stumbling, blind drunk, out of the room.

The group looked at each other. "So, should we go after him?" Scott asked.

Do you have a better idea?

"No," Scott said as he followed Wallace.

"Do you really think following a drunk guy is the best idea?" Knives whispered to Scott

"Um… yes," Scott said hesitantly.

Wallace led the group to the sole entrance to Big Town. There sat Dusty, the town's, somewhat, vigilant lookout. Wallace grinned and turned to his friends.

"This is my solution," he said…and then promptly passed out.

"What the hell's his problem?" Dusty asked looking at Wallace.

"Oh him," Neil said absent mindedly, "he does that all the time. Hey was there a commotion or anything last night?" he asked.

"Um, yeah. You see we had a really bad Super Mutant problem a while ago, but then this kid came along and…" Dusty said.

"Stop talking so fast and cut the crap," Scott said.

"Well part of the reason they don't come back is..." Dusty began.

"Just get to the point," Knives said calmly.

You know if you guys stopped interrupting him, he might tell you something.

"Yeah, but he's beating around the bush," Scott said.

He's trying to tell you what's happening!

"Well, he seems to be avoiding the question if you ask me," Scott said.

Well it's a good thing no one asked you.

"Ahem, if you're done talking to the air, I was going to tell you that I let the Super Mutants take one traveler from each group that comes here," Dusty said as he gripped his assault rifle ready to fight.

Scott went up to Dusty looking like he was ready to hit him. But, he just patted his shoulder and said "Thanks Dusty. Come on guys let's go," and walked off.

Wait a second Scott!

"What now?" Scott asked.

Do you even know where you're going? The Capitol Wasteland is huge, you think you can just randomly walk around and hope you find this place? Idiot.

"Hm, good point. Hey Dusty!" Scott said turning to face the sentry.

"Go to German Town Police HQ. I'll mark it on your map," Dusty said.

"Oh, thanks. That almost makes up for letting my friend get kidnapped," Scott said.

"Really?" Dusty asked.

"No," Scott said and walked off with the others.

So once again the group left and…

"Oh no you don't," Scott said.

What?

"You have to tell at least one of our adventures. Besides, this is Neil's big moment," Scott said.

Fine, fine, whiner. Ahem. So after leaving Big Town the group encountered one of the wastes biggest threats. A Yao Guai.

"I *hic* got this," Wallace said as he readied his power fist.

The Yao Guai lunged at Wallace, but he stumbled backwards and the attack missed. Wallace ran (as best as someone who was heavily intoxicated can) and punched the Yao Guai square in the jaw. The beast stumbled backward and Wallace pummeled it with a flurry of punches. Then he gave it one last punch and knocked its head off.

"Whoa," everyone said.

"Dang Wallace," Neil said with his mouth agape.

Hey, is it just me or is Wallace better when he's drunk?

"I think you're right. We're going to need more alcohol," Scott said.

And a stretcher

Scott looked at Wallace, who had passed out again. "Aw, dang it," Scott said when he realized everyone else had left.

And with that we turn to Germantown Police HQ the derelict police station was surrounded by mutilated bodies of humans and Super Mutants.

"Looks safe enough," Scott said, but, once again when he took a step forward a bullet when past his head.

"Sniper!" Stephen Stills yelled and the group split and to find cover.

"I've got him!" Knives said as she shot him with her sniper rifle.

"Nice shot," Ramona said.

As they entered the building, they met another Super Mutant, although this one had a mini gun.

Once again the group had to take cover. But, this time no one could get a shot off due to the hail of bullets coming at them.

"Scott, I have an idea," Neil said.

"Okay what is it?" Scott asked.

"I need you to throw me at that guy," Neil said.

"Are you nuts! You'll be killed and so we'll I!" Scott yelled.

"That's a risk I'm willing to take," Neil said. "Listen we need to do this for Kim,"

"Alright then. For Kim," Scott said. He grabbed Neil's shirt and jumped in the air and threw him at the Super Mutant. Neil collided with the surprised mutant and…and… oh seriously. I can't even describe this. This is just too brutal.

"Wow, he just tore its arms off," Scott said. "And now he's beating it to death with them. Okay where did he get the ripper? And now he's forcing a grenade down its throat. Hey Neil I think its dead. Okay we're going, so you'll just catch up then," Scott said as Neil continued his vicious assault.

"So did Neil get into Wallace's psycho supply or what?" Stephen Stills asked.

After wondering around for a while Neil joined up with the group and they ventured into the "kitchen" to look for Kim.

They saw Kim being held hostage by a Super Mutant Overlord.

"GET IT!" Neil yelled and the whole group unloaded their guns at the mutant (Wallace would have punched it, but he was still passed out) after they mutant fell to the ground, Neil rushed over to Kim and untied her.

"Kim! I'm glad you're okay!" Neil said.

"It's good to see you too Neil," Kim said blushing a little.

"Ooo lala," Everyone said.

"What?" Neil and Kim said.

"Hey guys. What about me?' a muffled voice asked as the group turned to see a figure tied up with a sack over their head.

Character Interview: Dusty.

Okay today I'm here with Dusty.

"Where am I?" Dusty asked.

Doesn't matter. What did you think about Mr. Pilgrim?

"Complete and total idiot," Dusty replied honestly

You want to be friends?

"Sure,"

Okay, so that's all our time for today. Goodnight and goodbye.

AN: Sorry this is so late; me and my cousin have been very busy lately. Anyway, if you want to, you can submit plot ideas. They _may _be used but it is no guarantee. Anyway thanks for reading and please review.


	6. Who's Looking at Who?

Who's Looking at Who?

"Who are you?" Scott asked the figure.

"Unmask me and I'll tell you," the figure replied.

"Hmmmm. It could be a trap," Scott said. "On the other hand you could be someone who needs help. And on another hand,"

Scott just take the bag off, idiot.

"Alright, alright, yeesh," Scott said as he took the bag off. He was greeted with a familiar face.

"Komatsu! My man!" Scott said happily.

"Scott?" Komatsu asked, puzzled by the turn of events.

"What's wrong Komatsu?" Scott asked.

"Huh? Oh nothing. It's just that I thought I was the only one stuck in this nightmarish hellhole," Komatsu said as he grinned at Scott and the others. "It's really good to see you guys again,"

"Yeah it's nice to see you too," Stephen Stills cut in. "Now can we go?"

And so our brave heroes (and Scott)

"Stop doing that!"

Left the police headquarters and took shelter in a nearby derelict house.

"So where are you guys going?" Komatsu asked, the light from there fire reflecting off of his glasses.

"GNR," Stephen Stills replied as he pulled out his guitar and began to play.

"Yeah, we going to TRY to get them to play our music," Kim said as she rested her head on Neil's shoulder.

"Hey, what's with the emphasis on try?" Scott asked.

Okay seriously. Now I've got to cut in.

"What now!" Scott yelled angrily.

I know this will probably hurt your head, but think for a second.

"Okay," Scott relented.

In this world the American lifestyle is based on the 1950's. this includes the music.

"Your point being?" Scott asked.

Did you ever think that they may not be opened to change?

"… Oh I get it now. Thanks," Scott said after a moment's thought.

Idiot.

"Hey Scott, were you talking to the narrator?" Komatsu asked in a whisper.

"Yeah, do you hear him too?" Scott asked.

"Umm, no," Komatsu replied.

"So where are you heading Komatsu?" Neil asked trying to change the subject.

"Rivet City," Komatsu said. he paused for a second. "Hey, if you guys don't mind, do you think you can help me get there?"

"Let me check my Pip-Boy," Scott said. he looked over the map screen. "Sure it's not to far,"

Three Days Later.

"Uh, Scott. Where the hell are we?" Komatsu asked.

"My map says it's someplace called Oasis," Scott said looking at the map.

"Can I see that map for a second?" Ramona asked. She garbed Scott's arm and looked at the Pip-Boy. "Scott, you know I love you and all, but, you're an idiot. We've been going in the opposite direction,"

"Oops. I guess I read it wrong," Scott said.

Scott it's on your arm, how can you possibly read it wrong?

"That is for me to know and for you to find out," Scott said. "But, if you do find out, please tell me,"

"Am I ever going to make it to Rivet City?" Komatsu asked.

"Nope," Stephen Stills said as he patted him on the shoulder.

To be continued…

There is no interview today. Instead we are going to show a preview for another story that is in the works. Please note that it will be a while before this story is published. So with out further adieu, here is _The Hard boiled Life of Stephen Stills. _

It was a beautiful black and white morning. There even a few shades of grey. I was sitting in my office, with my detective fedora and trench coat on. I had just lit my cigar when…

"Stephen Stills! I hear voices in my head! And what's with the black and white look, and the fedora?" Scott asked as he burst into the room.

"It doesn't matter Scott. Now I'm busy what did you need?" Stephen Stills asked.

"Umm. Nothing, goodbye," Scott said as he left.

AN: I am sorry for the late update, but both of us have been busy. Anyway send in your ideas, and look for _The Hard boiled Life of Stephen Stills _sometime in the future.


	7. High Horse

High Horse

It's been three months since our heroes went in the wrong direction and ended up in Oasis. That's what they get for listening to Scott. Anyway, they've had a low drive, cough- lazy- cough, to go anywhere else. They've been living off of the fruit from the nearby trees and Wallace's vast stores of liquor.

They have also been well protected thanks to the guards stationed outside of Oasis. Today Scott decides to actually talk to the two guards.

"Hey, guys," Scott said slowly. "I'm Scott Pilgrim,"

"Hello Mr. Pilgrim," the Treeminder with the missile launcher said.

"Don't call me mister!" Scott yelled. "Ahem, sorry about that, anyway whats inside here anyway?"

"You do know you can go in whenever you want right?" one of the Treeminders said.

"Really? Cool thanks," Scott said and turned around to go tell the others.

Seriously? It's been three months and you just now talk to those two. You could have been in there this whole time if you just bothered to ask!

"Well I for one don't like to dwell on the past," Scott said as he entered his camp. "Hey guys, they said we go in if we want,"

"Oh, but we're having _so _much fun. Why would we want to go in?" Kim asked sarcastically.

No need to be rude Kim.

"Hah! Even the narrator is on my side!" Scott yelled triumphantly.

Shut up Scott.

"Let's just go," Stephen Stills said and they walked into Oasis.

Once inside they met Father Birch and Mother Laurel, who explained that in order to meet "Him" they had to first drink the sap.

"Did you really just skip over their speech? Isn't that rude?" Scott asked.

Yeah, but I really don't feel like repeating everything they say.

"And you call us lazy," Scott mumbled as he got ready to drink the sap. "Hey, Komatsu, do you think it's safe to drink?"

"Komatsu"- Status Enjoying the fact that he's being recognized, even though no one has called him by his real name, Comeau.

"I dunno Scott," Comeau replied.

So Scott and the others drank the sap and passed out. A little while later the group woke up slowly sitting up and holding their heads.

"This must be what Wallace must feel like," Knives said as she sat up.

"Ugh," Neil groaned as he looked around. He realized that they were missing Scott and Wallace. "Hey where are…never mind," Neil said as he saw them both up in a tree singing.

"Sasquatch is our daddy and he's gonna protect…us!" they sang (horribly might I add) oblivious to the others.

"Scott! What are you doing!" Ramona yelled.

"Sorry about that. Every once in a while the sap causes people to hallucinate. I've never seen it happen to two people at once though," Birch said.

"Oh Wallace is always like that," Stephen Stills said.

"Should we do something about them?" Comeau asked.

"Oh, right," Birch said as he picked up a fallen branch and threw it at the two friends, knocking them out of the tree.

One hour later.

"Are you okay Scott? Do you have brain damage?" Ramona asked concerned as Scott woke up rubbing his head.

"Yeah, I think?" Scott said unsure.

Okay can I ask something?

"What do you want you vile fiend!" Scott yelled.

"Yep, he's fine," Kim said.

Why do some f your statements end up as questions.

"It's just a process," Scott said. "Just a process,"

"Ahem, do you mind if we talk now?" a voice said.

The group looked around but all they saw was a tree. A tree that, on closer inspection had a face.

"AHHHH!" Scott yelled. "Demon tree! Burn it!"

"Oh no. Don't do that! I hate fire!" the tree said slowly, but it was clear that he, it, whatever, was scared.

Relax Harold, he's an idiot. He couldn't start a fire if his life depended on it.

"Now Bob, that's not very nice," Harold said.

"Yeah, listen to the demon tree narrator," Scott said. "Wait you can hear him too?"

"Yep, I thought I was the only one though," Harold replied.

"So his name's Bob?" Scott asked.

"Yeah, although some times I call him Herbert," Harold laughed.

I told you I hate that name!

"Anyway, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. A while back I met another young drifter, a bit like you all. I asked him to kill me, but instead he convinced me that I should stay alive. He told me how his father died trying to make the wastes a better place and if I could, I should do my part. Well after hearing that I decided to keep helping and the stranger helped me expand my forest," Harold explained.

"So what do you need us to do?" Scott asked.

"Well, every now and again one of the Treeminders goes down to check on my roots. One went done a couple of days ago and never came back out. I want you to see if you can find him," Harold said.

"Alright then let's go!" Scott said as he ran off.

"Does he even know where to go?" Neil asked.

"Probably not" Ramona said.

After a little while Scott returned and, after receiving directions, left with the rest of his group and went to find the missing Treeminder.

"Okay," Scott said. "We're in a dark tunnel, with no idea where to go or what's down here. The only reasonable solution is to split up into small groups and go in random directions,"

…You're an idiot.

"Okay, so Ramona, let's go," Scott said.

"Actually, I'm going with Knives," Ramona said. "Sorry Scott, it's just that we never get to hang out,"

"It's alright, so Wallace are you ready," Scott asked.

"I am, but, I'm going with Stephen Stills," Wallace said.

"Okay, Neil," Scott said feeling rejected.

"I'm going with Kim," Neil said.

"Well, saw that coming. So that leaves, Komatsu," Scott said.

"Yeah," Comeau said. "So I guess we should go,"

So the group followed Scott's plan (care to guess what's wrong with that sentence) and went in different directions.

"So Komatsu, do you have a gun or something," Scott asked.

"No" Comeau replied.

"How about a pipe?"

"Nope,"

"A grenade?"

"Nah,"

"Some Psycho?"

"Nada,"

A stimpak?"

"Yea…no wait I forgot Wallace filled it up with that sap,"

"How about a stick of gum?"

"Yeah," Comeau replied as he handed Scott a piece of gum.

How is that going to help you survive?

"It won't, but I like gum," Scott said happily.

As he was talking a large crab like creature jumped out and knocked him back.

"Gah. I lost my gum!" Scott yelled. "You'll pay for that!"

He jumped up and punched the Mirelurk, but it didn't do much to it. It struck at him again, but this time Scott dodged and kicked it in the stomach. Once again it did little to the creature. Now they were grappling with each other, trying to get at each other.

"A little help Komatsu!" Scott yelled.

"What do you want me to do?" Comeau asked.

"I dropped my plasma gun, use it!" Scott yelled trying to push the Mirelurk back.

"Okay," Comeau said. He picked up the gun and fired several times. Unfortunately, they all hit Scott. "Sorry,"

"New plan, aim for me and maybe you'll hit this thing!" Scott yelled.

"Hold on Scott," Neil yelled as he ran around a corner. He tackled the Mirelurk off of him and helped him up.

"Are you all right?" Neil asked.

"I've been better," Scott admitted.

"Behind you!" Comeau yelled.

The two friends turned around to see the Mirelurk charging at them, but Kim jumped in between them and swung her Supersledge at the creatures face, killing it.

"You three owe me big time," Kim said.

"Hey whose there," they heard a voice say. As the person rounded the corner all of them gasped.

AN: Well that's it. I hoped you all enjoyed this installment. We will try to have the next chapter up soon. Anyway tell us what you thought and keep sending suggestions.


	8. Walk Softly and Carry a Big Stick Or

Chapter 8: Walk Softly and Carry a Big Stick… Or a Sniper Rifle, Your Choice

"Oh my God! It's Lucas Lee!" Scott yelled.

"My name is Luke Wilson! You never get it right!" Luke said disappointedly.

"Really? Are you sure?" Scott asked quizzically.

"Yes, I think I know my own name," Luke answered.

"Well, what happened to you?" Comeau asked.

"Well…" Luke began to recount his past ordeal. He had been transported here as well and was takin in by the Treeminders who he worked with to repay his debt. He worked with them for about three months when he was asked to clear out the mirelurks. This was kept secret from Harold who they didn't want to alarm. Unfortunately, Luke's sound manipulation powers were matched by the mirelurk king's own sonic ability.

"…that's it? You're not even going to mention the part where-"Scott began before he was interrupted.

Listen Scott we're on a tight schedule. I can't repeat everything that everyone says, I need to shorten it.

"Fine…Herbert," Scott said mockingly.

DON'T CALL ME THAT! Call me Bob, or by my full name. Bob Skywalker

"…like the Jedi?" Scott asked.

…Yes Scott, like the Jedi. Now I'm going to skip to the part where Knives starts killing all of the mirelurks.

"That's going to happen?" Scott asked. "When!"

Yes it's going to happen and in about three seconds.

"We need to clear out all of the mirelurks!" Knives argued to the assembled group.

"We do, but it's too dangerous. The regular ones aren't too bad, but the kings are tough. Their sonic powers matched my own," Luke said. "We'll need to come up with a plan and come back later,"

"Who needs a plan? I can handle them by myself!" Knives said.

"Fine, but it's your head. Just be careful, I'll ask some of the other Treeminders to come help us," Luke said as he walked away. "Also, aim for their faces, it's their weak spot,"

The group looked at each other and followed Luke out of the tunnels, except for Knives and Kim.

"Come on, you shouldn't have to do this alone," Kim said. Knives nodded and they began to sneak around the tunnels.

They moved like shadows, assessing their situations. They saw ten mirelurks total, they moved onto a small ledge in the cavern. Knives marked five of the mirelurks and, following Luke's advice aimed for their faces. Soon, five mirelurks dropped to the ground, dead. While Knives was sniping the mirelurks, she failed to notice two more sneak up behind them. Fortunately, Kim turned around and swung her hammer into them both, crushing them and throwing them off of the ledge.

"Wow, this bonding time has been great!" they heard a voice whisper. Knives and Kim turned around to see Ramona crouched behind them.

"OMG! How did you get there!" Knives whispered loudly.

"I was being stealthy," Ramona said.

"Don't do that!" Kim said punching Ramona's arm.

"Hey! I got rid of the other three," Ramona said, defending herself.

"Hey, was one of those things the king that Luke mentioned?" Knives asked.

Before anyone could respond a sonic blast knocked them from their perch. A large, more human looking, mirelurk stood over them. It tried to blast them again, but they scattered. Ramona and Kim charged at it, but it jumped back and blasted both of them. Knives aimed at it, but was distracted by another mirelurk that tackled her. Knives was able to shoot it off of her, but now the king was right of top of her.

Just before it attacked her, a different sonic blast hit it and knocked it back. Knives looked up and saw Luke and the others in the middle of the cavern. Luke attacked again, this time finishing it off.

"Thanks for the help Luke," Knives said.

"Well, I couldn't let you do my job for me," Luke said grinning.

"RAMONA!" Scott yelled, running to his beloved girlfriend. "Are you okay!"

"I'm fine Scott," Ramona said as Neil helped Kim up. "Now can we go?"

And so the group of heroes prepared to leave Oasis.

AN: Sorry it took so long to post this, but I've been really busy. Anyway, my cousin wrote a one shot, so I'll try to have it up soon. Please review.


	9. Life or Something Like it

Scott Pilgrim vs. Fallout 3: Ch. 9

Life or something like it

Today we find Scott and his friends now leaving Oasis. After telling Luke Wilson and the other Treeminders a long overdue farewell the group set out to, well that's what they're trying to figure out now.

"I think we should go straight south to Rivet City," Stephen Stills said to the others pointing in the general direction.

"I dunno it'll be dangerous," Scott paused gathering his thoughts for a moment, "But it will be faster."

The group settled on that note to go straight south (in the dark no less) following the power lines. They crested the first hill and came across the first power station. A small group if Raiders sat out side on a arrangement of tires and Nuka-Cola boxes. Scott gave a silent signal and they all snuck up behind the raiders in the dark they all took aim and they each snuffed out a raider, ending the lives of tyrants and villains.

"That went well," said Comeau shakily.

"Nah, we're just that awesome," Knives said smiling.

They entered the small substation and were greeted with a rather ragged man holding a scoped magnum at the ready. Everyone drew their guns on reflex. The man smiled and holstered his scoped magnum.

"I see that today is my lucky day," he said in a gritty voice.

"What do you mean?" Scott asked tensing his trigger finger.

"I need something done," the man paused only to light a cigarette, "I have a package for a 'Mr. Harkness' in Rivet City. "

"The Chief of Security?" Comeau asked.

The man coughed as he took the cigarette from his lips, "Yeah that's him."

Scott shrugged, "Sure."

As they left the man laughed hauntingly.

After hours of walking Scott and his team made it to Rivet City. Scott looked at the behemoth structure and walked up the ramp.

Comeau talked into the intercom, "Professor Comeau and seven to board."

The bridge spun around and Scott and the others crossed the expanse. They were greeted by a man. He looked young and was fair haired.

"I'm Chief Harkness, don't break the rules and I won't kill you."

"Thanks for the tip," Neil said sarcastically.

"Professor, it's good to have you back," Harkness said turning to Comeau.

"It's good to be back Harkness, oh and we have a package for you."

Harkness took the small box and opened it. He dropped it as he looked inside.

"What is it?" Scott asked.

Author's note: Sorry for the long hiatus but I've been really busy. I hoped to make this chapter long but I wrote this in urgency so I hope to make up for it in the first double digit edition of Scott Pilgrim Vs Fallout 3.

Editor's note: Also this is the end of my part in updating this story, my cousin has his own profile now so the rest of the story will be by a different author.


End file.
